4 May 2015

Why Your Women’s Intuition Is Bull$hit

Hey ladies, that little voice in your head. Yep, that voice that’s already telling you this article is bullshit because of its title – yep that voice, it isn’t you.

What do you mean it’s not me? – I can hear your thoughts from here – is what you must be asking yourself right now. Well, here’s the thing, that voice was programmed over time by your brain as a way to survive in the world based on your past experiences and does not reflect who you are in the present or who you are trying to be in the future.

That voice that you may call intuition, is sabotaging you and keeping you in the past.

Let’s back up a bit and define Intuition:

A thing that one knows or considers likely from instinctive feeling rather than conscious reasoning.

Let’s make sure you read that again… I’ll wait for you here.

Ok, so let’s start by addressing your feelings by saying something you might find ridiculous– your feelings are not real. I know they feel real, but they’re not facts. That’s why your feelings on a particular subject can be completely different than someone else when your experiences are different.

Our thoughts and feelings are formed by our experiences and our experiences are ever changing. Have you ever loved your boyfriend to death one minute, and the next minute felt like you want to kill him? Yeah, me neither, but ummm.. yeah, feelings change. Even more so, feelings are influenced by circumstances and for the most part are driven by our brain on autopilot.

Have you ever gotten in the car to drive to work and next thing you knew you were at work, but you can’t remember making the turns, or how you even got there? That’s your brain working on auto pilot. It knows the way, and you can be completely checked out in your own thoughts or in the music on the radio, and it will get you there using programmed patterns of behavior.

When we have an experience that looks at all familiar, our brain is programmed to deal with the experience by taking the road we have already traveled. You are going to have the same thoughts and feelings over and over to a familiar experience because that’s how you are programmed, and that’s why things don’t change for you.

It’s time to let go of the idea that your feelings/intuition can predict the outcome, not only in your relationships but in your entire life. The only way to truly know what’s going on with you and your partner is to look at the facts. Is there an intent set through language and actions being taken based on that intent?

“But I just know when something is wrong, I can feel it.”

If you’ve said this to yourself while reading this article, it’s time to stop feeling and start figuring what’s actually wrong through facts and communication. I’m not saying to ignore your intuition, I’m asking you to consider making decisions in your life based on your reality – not a feeling. Choose conscious reasoning rather than instinctive feelings to figure out what next steps you should take.

Being conscious means being present, instead of making decisions based on your past. Reasoning comes through an evaluation of facts, not feelings, senses or the story you’ve created in your life.

Stop letting feelings control your life. Stop jumping to conclusions based on your intuition. Stop letting the past rule your present.

The first step to enlightenment and to your own transformation is to acknowledge that that voice in your head isn’t you. Your feelings are not real, and therefor your intuition is bullshit. Once you make that acknowledgement you must practice living your life off of autopilot so that you can create something new in your life that you’ve never experienced before.

As a Neuro-Linguistic Programming Practitioner, I am trained to understand the mind and the patterns that keep us from finding and keeping love. If you need help shedding your bad dating habits and relationship patterns, please read more about my personal Dating & Relationship Coaching here.

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2 Responses

  1. raeberha

    This is a fascinating (and sticky!) topic that I can relate to strongly with my past relationships. I wanted to add a couple of thoughts stemming from my experiences to build off of what you discussed above…

    “Feelings are not facts.” YES! There is also a difference between feelings and emotions. They are seemingly inextricable but they are, in fact, distinct. Like the tree and its fruit.

    Feelings are direct energetic responses to experiences—they are communications from your body. Our bodies respond constantly to what’s happening in and around us. Those responses take the form of feelings. Just as all energy changes, feelings are also fluid.

    Emotions are feelings that have a mental component added—a thought, story, belief, pattern, or picture that often acts as a prism through which the feeling is interpreted rather than simply felt. This can shape the feeling energy and freeze it into a rigid form. Emotions tend to be less fluid, less responsive to direct experience. I agree that this is where a lot of people hold themselves back by becoming ‘stuck’ to an emotion that was experienced or formed in a past relationship.

    “Choose conscious reasoning rather than instinctive feelings to figure out what next steps you should take.” In my experience, sometimes all of the information you need in order to make a well-informed decision isn’t available. Instead, take stock. Make a mental note of what seems off about the situation, and KEEP IT ON YOUR RADAR. Just because you hear a voice doesn’t mean you need to act—you can still acknowledge the pull and remain loyal to what your feeling.

    Lastly (and most importantly), there is a difference between intuition and fear. Intuition is something that is often looked upon by Westerners with contempt. We much prefer logic—the grounded, explainable unemotional thought process that ends in a supportable conclusion. But when your intuition is informed accurately, it plays an important role. It can save us from violence.

    Fear is negative emotion that expresses itself through physical reactions (fight or flight, adrenaline, etc.).

    Intuition is a positive set of feelings or guidance that, if heeded, can bring about better situations for us.

    Fear is an emotion that causes us to want to run away, hide, and avoid the impending negative experience, whereas intuition is about heeding the possible dangers while having the strength resilience, and wherewithal to focus our actions and attitude so as to face and deal with the negative occurrence.

    A few others…

    – A reliable intuition conveys information neutrally, unemotionally
    – A reliable intuition feels right in your gut
    – A reliable intuition has a compassionate, affirming tone
    – An irrational fear is high emotionally charged
    – An irrational fear has cruel, demeaning, or delusional content (either towards yourself or other—perhaps both)
    – An irrational fear reflects past psychological wounds that have not been healed
    – An irrational fear diminishes being centered and having sound perspective

    I continue to remind myself of these differences–whether I’m in a relationship or not. It’s helpful to remember for any happy, successful life. Thanks for the fantastic post!

    1. Thank you for the feedback. This is a very complex subject that can easily turn into a series of posts. I think the main takeaway is that having reliable intuition takes work and is still a conscious choice you have to make. It’s a muscle you have to build and that takes a lot of practice. You have to step out of the comfort of autopilot thinking (the voice in your head) and interpret your thoughts, emotions, body sensations and feelings, almost as a 3rd party, before you take action. That’s what will make the difference between having a reliable intuition and an irrational fear.

      I totally agree on taking note when not all of the information isn’t there. The issue is that Fight or Flight takes over as soon as we feel like something is wrong. Fight or flight was created in human evolution to help us protect ourselves from real danger like a lion trying to eat our kids. Those dangers are not as present for us today and instead we begin to use fight or flight in our relationships when we fear getting our feelings hurt.

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