28 Aug 2014

What Is Love? 3 Married Men Explain

I’ve been trying to figure out the difference between liking someone a lot and love. As you know, after being single for so long, I needed someone to teach me how to love. How does one know if they’re in love? What is love?

I asked a few of my married male friends to give me their take in an effort to understand love better and here are some of the answers I got:

Jay, “Love is a deep emotion that has a fluidity like no other. It has no boundaries, and accepts all including flaws. It’s always accepted, always changing, and always positive. To know it is to spend no time defining it because you know it’s there. It’s like your body’s skin…you care for it daily, but never think about it as you know it’s there enwrapping and protecting you. To truly know love is to know that love just is.”

Jordan, “Love is a way of being, not a feeling I have.  Love is total and unconditional acceptance for the way we are and the way we are not.  In order to love and fully accept that person I must create and choose to be listening, be commitment, be present, be compassionate, be vulnerable, be gracious, be communication, be understanding and be with them so that they are crystal clear that I am with them.  Love is to make sure that there is no doubt to them of how I intend to “be” with and to them.  Being love is being authentic and being integrity in my declarations.  Being love is me cleaning up my messes.  Love to me is a choice and a possibility I create with the person or people I am being with which leaves me accountable for being love whenever I choose.”

Clark,  “Love can not be explained. To know it is to feel it. Much like God, it cannot be explained, you believe in it and it’s higher being or you do not.”

My interpretation of these words is that love just is. It’s a choice to believe it exists, and it’s a choice to act in a loving way. I made reference to this in my previous post “What’s Love Got To Do With It?”. The more I learn about love and about what makes marriages work, the more relevant the idea of choosing love instead of feeling love becomes. If I care about someone, believe that we can have a great life together, and we can be committed, present, gracious and understanding with one another, who is to say that isn’t love?

What do you think love is? I’d love to hear from you in the comments section.

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3 Responses

  1. Pingback : Do You Love To Be Loved Back? – Love Life TBD

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  3. Love is a choice. It is a commitment of acceptance – the good and the not-so-good – of your partner.
    Good must always be the larger in the relationship, or something is wrong with you!
    It’s treating someone in the manner you wish to be treated, without having expectations of that person. One can only account for ones’ self, so if his idea of love is different from yours, you need to discuss the differences.
    If you find true incompatibility, love yourself enough to part company for the betterment of both.

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