If the way to a man’s heart is through is stomach, the way to woman’s heart is definitely through her ears.
You meet this man. In the beginning everything was great. You would talk for hours. You made plans for your future together. He wants all the things that you want. You fall in love with the idea of what life with him would be like.
A couple of months pass and you’re not as happy. Something is missing. He’s not doing what it takes to have all the things you guys talked about. He’s not putting in the effort or actively participating in the relationship.
So you talk some more. He tells you he’ll try harder. You give him more time. You fall in love with more than just the idea. You fall in love with him.
He still doesn’t’ follow through on his promises. But you’ve now spent months being patient, so what’s another couple of months for him to get it together? And after all you love him. And when you do spend time together, you have a great time.
Maybe you can change him? Maybe if he loved you more, he’d do more. Maybe there’s something you’re not doing? Do you need to change?
You quickly spiral into thinking something is wrong with you. He wants all the same things; maybe you’re not good enough to have these things with? No one’s going to love me. Why is this happening to me?
Does this sound familiar?
I hear this story over and over again. Women are falling in love with what a man tells them instead of how he shows up and it has to STOP!
It’s cliché, but actions speak louder than words. He can and will say anything and everything possible to get you, but if his actions don’t follow through on his word, he’s not worth loving.
He’s not worth the energy and the time that you spend on trying to change him, and he’s definitely not worth you losing faith in your own value as a woman. His actions have nothing to do with your worth.
There’s a plethora of reasons why he isn’t ready or why he doesn’t show up they way that you need. Most have more to do with how he shows up in life and what he’s more committed to.
But then the question to ask yourself is, what are you committed to? Are you more committed to changing this man’s behavior or to having a healthy relationship? Are you more committed to your vision of the future, or being comfortable in the wrong relationship?
How To Stop Falling In Love With His Words:
If you are committed to having a healthy and happy relationship, it starts with action. There has to be accountability. There has to be mutual effort. There has to be consideration and respect for each other’s needs.
Next time you meet a man who talks a really good game, watch his actions. Does he follow through on what he says? How does he show up? Is he participating in the relationship?
Watch him for a while, not just when things are new and exciting. Fall in love with actions and follow through. It doesn’t sound as sexy as someone whispering sweet nothing’s in your ears, but it damn sure will make for a better relationship.
Need help figuring out if he’s worth sticking around for or moving on? Can’t tell what his actions are saying? I can help. Schedule your FREE 30 minute clarity call with me here and I’ll decode his actions for you.