15 Oct 2014

Ditch The List And Figure Out What You Really Need

Let’s talk about your dating pool. When you ask most women in LA what they want, they ask for tall, dark, handsome and rich. In a city full of gilts and brawn, it seems totally doable that every single one of my friends and I end up with a guy like this, until I started reading the book Marry Him.. The Case for settling for Mr. Good Enough.

In The book, the author, who lives in Los Angeles, hires a dating coach who basically tells her, if she’s looking for the above-mentioned qualities (which she was), her dating pool was 3% of the male population. That can’t be right? Yall know I love a good stat, so I went ahead and figured out some percentages myself thanks to the U.S. census borough and some other handy facts.

There are 4.8 Million Men in LA County.

37% are single = 1.776M

14% are “tall” = 248,640 (over 6 feet tall)

5% are “well off” = 12,432 (making over $100,000)

This is your dating pool without considering age (or if he’s even handsome)… and all 1.98 Million single women in LA are vying for their attention.

Twelve thousand may seem like a lot, but it’s really not when considering that for every man that meets your requirements, he has the option of 159 women. Did you read that??? Allow me to say it again… 159 Women for every single tall, well off man in Los Angeles.

The odds are against you, and if these two are deal breakers it’s time to widen your net and in turn your options.

We have to start thinking about what’s truly important to us. Do our values align? What kind of father would he be? Can he provide (six figures are not necessarily needed for that)? Will he treat you well?

While we’re at it, let’s think about what we have to offer in a relationship? What makes us worthy and not on the deal breaker list, when clearly these men have plenty of options? Being pretty and smart isn’t enough.

Let’s get a list together. Take a piece of paper and put together two columns; what we’re looking for and what we bring to a relationship. Write down as many things as you’d like, and then highlight only 3 things that are the most important.

I need a family oriented provider who is driven by purpose.

Sounds a lot more doable than the 30 some odd things I used to have on the list. What are the must-haves on your list?

Related Post

9 Responses

  1. Krista

    Ravid…this is by far my favorite post. I think often we get caught up in the material/physical things a partner can bring to a relationship and forget (or push to the back corners of our minds) the things that really hold a relationship together for the long haul.

  2. John

    Hello Ravid, I just wanted share my homework answers with you. After i Got home from taking a final.lol. Here is my top four. She has to employed,loves to work out at the gym, emotionally healthy, and I.intellectually stimulating. But what I really wanted to share with you. After I graduate,and my divorce is finalized. I plan to move from Orang County to San Diego County. Valley Center in the city name. I want to rent a house, have a garden, work 40 hrs a week. Take my wife and family and go to car shows and cruise nights. Spend time with my nephews, and the rest of the family. But most importantly, spend a lot of intimate time with my wife.life can wait. I want to cherish each and every day with my beautiful wife. And thought about what you have been through, and how much you would appreciate a slow paced life. I do not a lot about cancer. But I do know that is is caused by stress. So in order to properly heal, you need to bring your stress level to zero or one. What do you think? Is that a lifestyle you would like? Or is it something you need? I am here as your friend, for as long as you want me to be. John Behneman.

  3. Pingback : 15 Dating Resolutions You NEED To Make In 2015 – Love Life TBD

  4. Pingback : 13 Things Every Independent Woman Has To Know To Find Love – Love Life TBD

  5. Pingback : 6 Secrets To A More Successful Relationship – Love Life TBD

  6. Pingback : Don’t Force It With The “Good On Paper” Guy – Love Life TBD

  7. Pingback : Make A Great First Date Impression In Two Minutes Or Less | the voux

  8. Pingback : Make A Great First Date Impression In Two Minutes Or Less - the voux

Leave a Reply