Now in my 30’s and having been single for 10 years, it was pretty easy to get negative about dating. After dating what seemed like everyone on the planet, I admittedly went through days (weeks, sometimes months) where I was just tired and over it. If you’re going on one mediocre date after the other, it’s really easy to get inside of our heads and fill it with negativity.
So how do you keep going without feeling defeated and negative?
“We must never forget that it is through our actions, words, and thoughts that we have a choice.” ~Sogyal Rinpoche
YOU FIND THE POSITIVE IN THE SITUATION
Maybe you didn’t meet the love of your life but you got a new friend or a career opportunity out of a date that didn’t manifest into something? Maybe you were able to find some good or bad qualities in a person that are now necessary or deal breakers for you? As long as you walked away from some of these dates with some information on yourself or a lesson learned you should consider them a win.
YOU STAY COMMITTED TO YOUR CAUSE
If you’re committed to having a fulfilling and loving relationship, you have to keep going. The payoff in remaining negative is that you don’t get that very thing you say you’re committed to. Instead those negative thoughts will manifest themselves into even more mediocre dates.
YOU GIVE YOURSELF ROOM TO BREATH
Don’t go on a date for a couple of weeks. Go out with friends you love instead, where a good time is guaranteed. Take a class you’ve wanted to take, or o.d. on Netflix for the weekend. Stop worrying about dating, and stop beating your self up.
YOU FIND DATES IN UNFAMILIAR TERRITORIES
If you’re already online, try a different dating site or app. If you’re not online dating, try that for a change. Maybe you meet someone different at that class you signed up for, or have a friend set you up with someone so you know that at the very least it will be a pleasant experience.
The key is to keep going, change your thought process, and choose to be positive because we all have a choice in the matter. We can allow the negative thoughts to take over our minds, or allow positive thoughts into our love life. Stay positive and that next date may be the last first date you ever go on.