2 Feb 2015

Should You Go On A Second Date If There’s No Spark?

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Have you ever gone on a date that went well enough, but you weren’t sure if you should go on a second date?

It happens to the best of us. We met someone, had a decent date, but there was no spark. Nothing bad happened on the date so there are no major complaints or red flags, but the lack of spark left you undecided about a second date.

When we romanticize love, we think about that first moment when you meet someone and your heart skips a beat. You feel the butterflies in your stomach and you automatically just know. As great as love at first sight seems, it isn’t real.

In real life a successful relationship is built based on consistent communication, integrity, common purpose and character. Ohhh integrity, doesn’t that sound sexy? If it doesn’t you’re looking for the wrong things.

I’ve written about chemistry before and how I believe it can be formed by communication, but it’s much harder to actually put into practice. We want to follow our instinct, or gut, but that will only lead us down a path to find what is already familiar.

If you are looking to change the type of person you date, you will likely not have an immediate spark. So how do you know if someone is worth that second date? Ask yourself these four questions:

Do I Find Them Attractive?

Maybe they weren’t your exact type, but do you think they are attractive? Do you see their appeal? Was there something about them that stood out; their eyes or kind face?

If you find them attractive in any way, you’re in good shape.

Did I Enjoy My Conversation With Them?

Did the conversation on the first date flow easily? Did they ask and take interest in your life or did were they only concerned about themselves?

Did We Have Things In Common?

Did you have at least 3 things in common, be it interests, family upbringing, religion, or future goals? Common interests with your partner at the start of a relationship set up a healthy foundation for the bond you will form with one another in the future.

Did They Seem Like A Decent Human Being?

Was She nice? Was he a gentleman? Did they act positively towards you and the people you interacted with like the wait staff or bar tender? Did they seem kind and caring? How did they speak about the people in their life?

If they passed all four questions, you should definitely give them another shot and go on a second date. You don’t want “spark” to keep you from dating an amazing person.

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