30 Nov 2015

The Relationship Deal Breaker Every Optimist Must Consider

Your cup is half full. You are an optimist. Your reality includes such a high belief in self and that translates into how you view the world.

You see people’s strengths and believe in them like you do in yourself because you’re living proof that anything is possible. You know that with determination, a plan, blood, sweat and tears anyone can do anything.

You want to see the best in people and often times that means not seeing a crucial deal breaker; your partner has a negative view of the world.  

It will take time, maybe even years for you to realize that suddenly your cup is half empty. They’ve been eating at your optimistic view a bit at a time and it no longer matters how you see the world, because you’ve begun living in their negative reality.

If you want to live a positive life, you must look for this deal breaker. Having some of the below feelings and thoughts once in a while is OK. We all go through that, but you need to recognize if the person you are with is living in several of these negative states most of the time.

Here’s what to look for:

  1. They Are A Victim

The victim can’t take responsibility for what’s happening in their life. They always point the finger. Someone did something to them and that’s why they are where they are.  They are controlled by their past and the circumstances around them.

They’ll keep asking themselves and you, “why is this happening to me?” instead of focusing on how to fix the issue. They’ll say no one taught them, but won’t look to teach themselves.

  1. They Only See Things In Black And White

I don’t know if you’ve looked outside today, but the world is full color. The sky is blue, the grass is green, and today I’m wearing purple. The answers to life’s biggest questions are also live and in color.

Everything is not black and white. If they can’t see the grey, they definitely can’t see the blue, green and red, and that’s a sad place to be.

  1. They Focus On The Negative

Something amazing could happen to them, and they won’t see it. They’ll see the one person who didn’t pat them on the back or the hater who had something hurtful to say. They won’t celebrate achievements because there’s always something worse to focus on.

Things will never be perfect, but we must look at the positive and be grateful for what we have in order to move forward.

  1. They Can’t See More Than A Few Steps Ahead

Everything is so hard. Everything is a struggle. They can’t deal with more than what’s right in front of them or they become overwhelmed. They can’t see the bigger picture or what their future looks like, which makes it very hard to create a long-term relationship with them.

  1. They Live In Doubt And Uncertainty

Life with them is like a rollercoaster. One day they are 100% certain and the next, they don’t know. It’s hard for them to make decisions, and even when they do, they go back and forth. They want to gather more information, be sure, talk about the subject in circles but never actually resolve the issue.

  1. They Are Ruled By Fear

Fear is a motha’fucker. They live in fear that what happened in their past will happen again. They live in fear that they’ll be a failure. They fear that they will never be good enough. That fear can paralyze them and keep them for taking action in their life, no matter how much they say they want to.

  1. They Don’t Remember The Happy Memories

What is a relationship without the happy times? It’s not much. The memories you share build your relationship and if one of you can’t remember them it doesn’t make for a very happy time.

If you’re constantly trying to make your partner happy, they are likely not happy with themselves. A telltale sign that that’s the case is when they can’t remember your happy moments together.

If you recognize these traits in your partner and have seen them creep into your life, it’s time to get help or end your relationship.

Don’t allow the person you love to empty your cup.

Interested in living a more positive life? Want to regain your power in a toxic relationship? Consider my personal coaching. Book a FREE clarity call with me here.

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