Have you ever wondered why you get scared when you really like someone?
The good news is that there’s a good reason and a way to deal with it.
Do you ever feel…
Afraid of getting hurt?
Afraid to trust?
Afraid to open up for fear he won’t accept you?
Afraid to lose your independence?
Afraid to lose yourself in him?
Afraid you’ll end up alone?
Afraid of being judged?
If you answered yes to any of those questions, keep reading.
Let’s first consider what fear is.
Fear is an evolutionary and neurological response to the perception of danger.
In the caveman days, we had to develop a neurological trigger to deal with real danger, like bears and lions. As human’s evolved and we no longer had to fear physical danger as often, we began to respond neurologically to the fear of getting hurt emotionally.
The idea of falling in love and getting hurt is scary to most and so now we avoid love all together. We do this mostly subconsciously in order to protect ourselves.
The only way to allow love into your life, is by letting go of fear and here’s how you do it.
Step 1: Commit to your vision
You have to be committed to something that is bigger than your fear.
Your subconscious mind is very committed to fear and therefor your conscious has to be even more committed to your vision for partnership.
When you have and are committed to your vision for a relationship, you will communicate and take actions to protect that vision over fear.
Step 2: Let go of your story
Whether based on facts or perception, we all have a story about ourselves, relationships or the opposite sex that are limiting our beliefs about love.
If you find yourself generalizing based on a series of events in your life, you are allowing your story to rule your love life.
If you find yourself limited by your story or experiences, it’s time to let them go because they are no longer serving you.
Step 3: Forgive the past.
Forgiveness is the only path forward.
It’s not until you forgive the perpetrator in your story that you’ll be able to let go of that story.
While steps 2 and 3 are intertwined, they are also very different. Your story is about awareness of the past and why the fear exists. Forgiveness is about the future and your ability to move on.
Step 4: Release control
Control is a protection mechanism that was created in those caveman days. If you can control your environment and the outcome of ‘hunting’, you would be able to protect yourself.
In love we look to control when we are trying to protect our hearts. For women, control puts them in their masculine as the pursuer or protector.
This happens when you feel unsafe or uncertain in your relationship and the default is to look to protect yourself.
Know that when you are protection mode, you are allowing fear to win, and the only way love wins, is if you release control.
Step 5: Choose a different way
Life is about choices. It’s about choosing love moment by moment, day by day, week by week.
Choosing a different ways means that you become aware of your vision, your story and when you’re in control mode so that you can choose to do something else. So that you can choose to forgive or surrender to love instead.
When you choose, you get to let go of fear, open up your heart, let go of masculine control and ultimately get the relationship you desire.
If you’re ready to let go of fear and be supported through these 5 steps, I am offering a 30 minute Love Success Breakthrough Session.
During this session, you will;
- Get clear on your vision
- Determine what’s truly stopping you from having love in your life.
- Put together a strategy to help you let go of fear and get you the love you desire.
Not ready for the session but want to learn more about Fear and the 5 steps?