Last year when I was aggressively dating, I had to dodge a lot of first date kisses. I was pleasant to all of my dates and held a good conversation, but I didn’t think I was giving the I’m interested vibe to every one of those guys.
Why were my signals not clear? Maybe I didn’t give the bitchy I’m not interested at all vibe, but I definitely didn’t think I was giving the it’s ok to kiss me vibe either. It got so bad at one point, I had to create a no kissing on the first date rule and tell it to guys before we met.
It took over a year and 40 guys for someone to finally tell me what I was doing.. I went out on a date that could quite possibly be the worst date I’ve been on in this journey. The guy wouldn’t let me answer the questions he asked me, he’d speak over me, speak in a third person, and talked mad shit about my team! There was no way this guy was getting a second date. I hugged him good-bye as I always do and went about my way.
He texted me as soon as I left the parking lot. Texted again the next day, and the following day so I just finally replied saying I wasn’t interested. He said that he’s completely surprised by this and that he thought I was feeling him…. Based on what? That Hug I gave him!
Here I was giving these guys a huge good-bye hug. It was the type of hug you give someone you won’t ever see again. They weren’t bad guys, I just wasn’t into them and I hugged them with that “oh, you poor guy” frame of mind. My sympathy towards them was giving them mixed signal.
Moral of the story, what you believe to be just being nice, can be confused for interest when shown in the wrong context. I wont be giving big hugs to anyone I’m not interested in any more. Handshake anyone?
Are you sending mixed signals?