Ladies, does it sometime feel like your man just doesn’t get you? He doesn’t understand or take action like you need him to? It’s because men and women communicate differently and if you approach him the wrong way, he will stop listening.
Women view communication as a way to share, connect and relate. We can talk for hours in intimate detail of how we are feeling, the story behind it, and so on. Men communicate as a tool to exchange information, or to delegate and be given a task. They are direct and to the point with what they are looking for, and when they get what they need (or think that they can’t), the conversation is over.
So how do you communicate more effectively with men? Let’s go through the process…
First, figure out what you are looking to achieve. What do you need? What’s actually bothering you? What can he do to fix it? Spend some time on this step. Usually what we think is the problem isn’t really the problem.
Choose your words wisely. Don’t bring criticism into the conversation. This is about what you need, not what he’s doing wrong. Keep the details to a minimum, and get to the point. Ask for what you need directly.
Say your having a hard time trusting him; is the issue really him or your own trust issues? Most of the time, it’s our stories that create the mistrust.
Ask yourself, what do you need from him so that trust can be built. Maybe you need him to check in when he pulls an all nighter at work or with his friends? Maybe You need him to put his phone away when you’re spending time together?
Whatever you need, ask for it.. “You know what would make me happy? If you could let me know you’re ok when you’re pulling that all nighter. I care about you, and sometimes I worry when we don’t talk and I know you’ve been drinking, so it would be really great if you could do that for me.”
Men are providers; they naturally want to provide what you need. Communicate those needs efficiently and if he cares about you, he will provide because he want to make you happy.