Mr. Negotiation and I are six months in and the holidays are creeping up. He’s an LA implant so choosing where to spend the holidays would be simple if this were an ordinary situation, but it’s not. My dad is not a fan of this relationship so for the first time ever I have to choose; spend the holidays with my family or with the boyfriend?
I’m Jewish and my family gets plenty of my Holiday time year round, so I’ve decided to spend Thanksgiving with the boyfriend. Deciding this was easy, telling my family, not so much. I’ve been planting seeds about it since Sept., but they still had a hard time accepting this as reality. My family is very important to me. I think it’s important to honor parents, siblings, and family tradition but my relationship is a priority as well.
How does one navigate through this delicate situation? You have to understand that you can’t please everyone. If you decide to choose your partner over your family, all you can do is try to explain how important someone is to you, and if they don’t understand, you may have to decide to go your own way. Maybe you miss Thanksgiving and a few family dinners. If you’re relationship is getting serious, maybe it’s time to start your own traditions.
Even if your situation isn’t as complicated as mine, you may still have to choose between his family and yours, and one side may ultimately be disappointed. You must accept that this is your new reality. It is what it is, and you can’t feel guilty about what you choose. All you can do is try to find balance, be fair in your decision, and be kind when you deliver the message.
I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving Weekend filled with new memories and the love of those that are most important to you.