“All dating, is speed dating” – reads the Time Out infographic from their recent the world of dating survey.
According to the survey, 41% of respondents said it only took them 2-3 minutes into a first date to decide if they wanted a second one. Cities like Chicago, LA and London fared even worse with over 50% deciding that quickly.
What can we possibly know about someone in 2-3 minutes that would lead to a logical decision on whether they are right for us or not? Other then are they hot or if they’re our type?
When’s the last time a married couple told you they fell in love and decided to get married because of a first impression?
If you asked them, you are more likely to hear that they didn’t expect this person to be the one. That it was the foundation of how they communicated, their shared values and common vision of their life that made them right for one another.
I’ve already written about how chemistry doesn’t always matter, and a lack of spark can be overcome. I’ve even given women advice on what to do on their next first date and how to keep the conversation going.
I could beat you over the head about how you need to stop being so superficial, and how being superficial won’t find you the one. But today if I can’t beat them, I’ll join them and give you some tips on how to create that first impression that will keep them wanting more.
First of all, it goes without saying that you should look your best. Clean up, smell nice, dress up, but be comfortable.
You only have 2-3 minutes to make this first date impression, and here’s how you do it.
Hug at First Sight:
When you first meet your date be sure to have immediate physical contact, but not just any kind. Instead of greeting your date with a handshake or touch on the back or arm, go in for a hug.
Not only are you establishing an interest right from the start, hugs are scientifically proven to alleviate fear and relieve stress which is likely present when we first meet someone new and are nervous.
Best of all, when we hug someone, oxytocin (also known as “the cuddle hormone”) is released, making us feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Now that’s a great start to a date.
Put Your Phone Away:
Take your phone and physically put it away in your purse or pocket and keep it there. Being on your phone was recently named as the biggest turn off by daters in a SF Weekly survey.
Making this move in front of your date shows them that you are present and focused on them 100%.
And now on to the hard part…
Tell A Story:
But not just any story. It has to be about something you’re passionate about, has a funny moment and is a conversation starter. I know this sounds like a lot to do, but I believe you have it in you.
Let’s talk strategy. Why are you telling this type of story right off the bat?
- Starting off with a story keeps you away from asking questions that can seem like an Interview and no one likes on a first date.
- People are attracted to passion. Picking a subject you are passionate about allows you to reveal an important part of yourself.
- According to match.com’s single in America survey, funny is the new sexy with over 90% of men and 97% of women considering a sense of humor as important as physical attraction.
How do you execute? Immediately ask your date “how was your day?” Most people will just say it was good, not bad, or fine and when they ask you how yours was, you say – I have to tell you this story, and well insert story here.
What can your story be about? Well, what are you passionate about? Maybe it’s about something that happened at work, in a class you are taking, or while on a hike. Maybe it happened on a recent vacation you took, while out with your friends recently or while with your nephew that you were babysitting.
If you’re passionate about it, tell it. In sharing and opening up to them about something you are passionate about it will create more ease in the conversation and create a space for them to share as well.
If pulled off correctly, they’ll want to hear more from you and decide to go out on that second date.