29 Sep 2015

A Follow Up – What Happened To The Other Guy In The Bar?

This week has been a sort of whirlwind. An article I wrote nearly a year ago got picked up by Yahoo! Style and then The Daily Mail called to do a feature on me which I was ecstatic about. While my articles have been featured on lots of popular sites, it’s rare that a person who does what I do gets the personal press that this feature would give to me and my business.

The headline reads:

It happens when you least expect it! Dating expert reveals how she first met the love of her life – while out on a tinder date with another man

I’ve done digital marketing for a long time and have prepared artists and celebrities on how to deal with negative comments in the past, but when it’s your turn… man! I wasn’t ready. The men in the comment sections ripped into me and the general women’s population. But where they wrong? Not totally.

Yes, I met the love of my life while on a date with another man. If a man we were seeing did that to us, we’d call him a jerk – at first. But truth is, when you’re online dating, the assumption is that you’re dating other people, so unless we were exclusive, I didn’t owe him anything.

If you fallowed the full story as it happened then you would have read that I didn’t give my number to the now boyfriend. My friends did, and I’m so thankful for them for doing that. In trying to be polite, I would have missed out on an amazing love story.

So what did happen to the tinder date I had at the bar that night? The day after my first date with The Negotiator, he and I spoke on the phone and both agreed we were better off as friends. I was honest with him about what happened at the bar that night, and that I’d gone out on a date with that man the night before. Hey.. if we were really going to be friends, there was no reason for me to lie.

Guess what? He was happy for me. We still stay in touch. I actually coached him for a bit because he was just out of a 7 year relationship and was testing the dating pool. We still check in on each other. When we run into each other we are genuinely happy to see each other, and when the Daily Mail article published he was the first one to offer to hop on the comments section and defend my honor.

There’s a lesson for us all in this encounter. I could have lied to everyone. I could have been shady. Instead I chose to live in my truth and was respected for it. I built two relationships based on honesty and integrity. That’s the foundation for every great relationship.

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