15 Sep 2015

A Big Step For Me And How I’m Dealing With My Insecurities

Today I’m releasing my first video. This may not seam like a big deal for most, but to me it’s huge. It’s been something I’ve known I should do for a really long time, but I struggled to make it happen.

I started writing a social media post for a short video I shot where I was going on about how putting a video out on social media is a big step for me, but I thought a blog post would be more appropriate.

I’ve been struggling with being my most authentic and vulnerable self with you guys. I’m comfortable writing and giving advice because it means that I don’t have to risk being judged. It means I get to hide behind my screen.

Video content has been on my to do list since the beginning of the year, so why haven’t I gotten it done till Sept? As I’ve preached in my advice, if you are not accomplishing something it’s because you’re carrying around some emotional baggage about it.

I was holding on to this insecurity that I have about being on camera. It started as a kid really. Growing up, my mom didn’t like taking pictures and without ever realizing what she was doing, she convinced the rest of us that we shouldn’t like it either.

So I built this insecurity about it and lived in that story. I’m too fat and I’m not pretty enough I’d keep telling my self. I even built a career working behind the scenes. I could advise my artists on what to do in front of the camera, but never get in front of it myself.

And so I justified my insecurities and found reasons why I couldn’t do the videos. I’m too busy. I’m meant to be behind the scenes. I can’t shoot the videos until I lose these happy pounds.

In the beginning of the summer I decided to push myself out of this comfort zone because it wasn’t serving me or the people that I want to help. And so I’m here. Ready for this new chapter, where you get to see me as who I am, no filter.

Unfiltered me is sarcastic and brass. Feisty yet caring and loves doing this. I hope you accept her. I hope you love her.

But I say all this because I have to practice what I preach, and I’m hoping that this big step for me, though it may not seem that way to others, can inspire others.

We’re all dealing with an insecurity that may be keeping us from achieving what we want in life. For me it’s the camera, for you it may be something that’s keeping you from getting the love you desire. I want us all to commit to getting out of that comfort zone. We can’t live in the story we’ve created around our insecurity.

We need to push ourselves. Let’s do that together. Stick this out with me, give me feedback, and let’s all be better today than we were yesterday.

What insecurity is keeping you from getting what you want in life? Tell me about it in the comments or just say hey!

P.s. here’s my new youtube page – please subscribe 🙂


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