2 Nov 2015

3 Ways Being The Strong One Is Keeping You Lonely

When someone in your life goes through something, they know just who to call; you.

You’re their rock. You stay strong. You support them. You always know the right things to say to make them feel better. But what happens when you go through something? Who do you call? Who supports you? Who is strong for you?

Being the strong one is a lonely existence.

When you have a small crisis you know how to deal with it and take care of it without much help from others. Most of the time no one ever knows what you’re going through.

You get sick. Maybe you’re going through a hard time and one day you wake up and realize there’s no one there to help you and you wonder why?

It’s because you don’t ask for help and this has conditioned those who love you to not be there for you when you need it the most.

When you’re the strong one you’re not allowed to be human.

“You’ll be OK.”

“You’re so strong.”

“You’re so resilient.”

Those are the words your friends and loved ones keep repeating. After all, you are the strong one. You always have the right answer, so you’ll have the right answer for yourself. What could they possibly add that you don’t already know?

Being the strong one has given you super human powers in the eyes of others. They no longer see you as human. You can’t have a weak moment, that’s not you.

Even worse, you feel like you can’t ever be weak – at least not in front of others. You are the strong one, and so you deal with things by yourself.

It begins with introspection; it ends with days having gone by and you being all by yourself. Where are your friends again?

When you’re the strong one, other’s need’s come before your own.

They can’t see you. Or at least you don’t feel like you’re being seen. You’re not being heard. No one worries about you. No one is strong for you.

But let something happen to someone you love. There you are, captain-save-them-all. You feel guilty if you think about yourself. You push your feelings and your needs aside to help them.

You’ll figure out your own shit one day, right?

You’ll be OK eventually, right?

While the issue at hand will be resolved (one day), you are living a lonely existence. You are isolating yourself. You are creating a pattern in your life where you don’t matter, because you don’t tell yourself or others that you do.

You have to let others in. You have to need others. You have to allow yourself to be human and surround yourself with people who get that that’s OK.

Otherwise, what’s the point of being strong and alone?


Does this sound familiar? If being strong is keeping you single or lonely in your relationships, I can help. Become more self aware, gain clarity and allow yourself to receive love and support through my coaching. Book your free clarity call here.

 

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