I recently asked the readers of my blog what their biggest challenge in love and relationships was and an overwhelming amount of you reached out with the same challenge.
You asked “Why do I keep attracting unavailable men?”
The subject matter is appropriate since one of my most popular posts is about how to recognizing an emotionally unavailable man. You can read that here. And if you haven’t already – you should download my eBook “Is He Relationship Material?” so that you can identify the ones who are.
So is it something that you’re doing? Why do these guys keep showing up in your life? Watch the video above or keep reading below for all the deets….
The reason why you’re attracting unavailable men has more to do with YOU than with them. Unavailable men are everywhere and they approach all sorts of women, but most women are not allowing them into their life. You are.
Here Are The Top 3 Reasons Why You Are Attracting Unavailable Men:
Reason #1 – You Yourself Are Not Available:
I know this one from personal experience. I knew I wasn’t available and so dating men who were also unavailable meant that I didn’t have to commit, I didn’t have to invest in them emotionally and I didn’t need to take the risk of getting rejected or hurt.
I deliberately went out and sought unavailable men out, but for you it me be more subconscious than that. Maybe you were hurt? Maybe you’re still grieving a past relationship? There’s a reason you are unavailable and therefor allowing these men into your life.
Reason #2 – You Don’t Think You Deserve Better:
I know it’s hard to hear, but many of us have this voice in our head that tell us we’re not good enough, we’re not pretty enough or we don’t deserve this. There’s some variation of that voice that is being played out in your head and you believe it.
Maybe you heard it said to you growing up? Maybe an ex made you feel shit about yourself? No matter the origin, you are still living with it and believe that an unavailable man, a man who treats you right is what you deserve.
Reason #3 – You Don’t Know How To Set Boundaries:
Most of us are not letting unavailable men into our lives and yet you are because you haven’t learned how to say no. You haven’t learned how to say that this isn’t what you want and that their behavior is unacceptable. You haven’t learned how to say I’m not interested.
Somewhere along the line you lost your voice. You lost your ability to create boundaries and in turn you lost his respect.
The only way to get what you want is to say so and then have your actions follow. You deserve love. You deserve to have a man who is present and committed to you. You deserve to be with a man who is ready for the same kind of love as you are.
If you want to have love in your life and learn how to get rid of the emotional baggage and the thoughts in your head that may be attracting you to unavailable men, make sure to check out my new online course – Determined To Love – where I’ll be walking you through the 4 Steps To A Successful Love Life. Watch that video for FREE here.